Yesterday I got a phone call to say that Richards spinal chemo for this week had been rescheduled for next Tuesday. As he was due to go to our local hospital tomorrow for pre chemo bloods I phoned to cancel that appointment. While I was on the phone I asked if they had received his PET scan results so the nurse put me through to the consultants secretary and she confirmed they had received them!
"Hello Mrs Ballard" she said, (I now give up correcting people that actually we are not married) "I posted his results today, give me a minute and ill get them up on screen"
At this point my heart with in my mouth and my hands were shaking so much I nearly dropped the phone!! Then those words came over the phone.....
"He has had a positive response to the chemo and he has no positive cancer cells left, it's all gone!"
I dont quite remember what I said but I think I may have screamed with excitement and shouted yessssss as I punched the air!
Now its funny how things worked out because when we got the news that Rich first had cancer, he broke it to me over the phone as I wasn't home and didn't see him till late that night so in contrast yesterday I broke the news to him over the phone as he was out and yet again I didn't see him till late that night.
I had thought about this day so many times, and in my head the news would be given to us in the hospital and we would walk out holding hands and I would hug him with relief so the reality was a little disappointing but the news wasn't!
He was chuffed to bits when I told him, quite rightly so!!! This is the outcome we wished for right from the beginning but......
.....and I feel a bit strange saying this.....
I feel like its a total anticlimax! Please dont get me wrong, I am SOOOO happy, but today feels the same as yesterday, life is still basically the same. I feel awful saying this as there are so many people out there that would give anything to have their loved ones back, I think especially of Laura who lost her mum and Val who lost her husband recently.
We have a 2nd chance now and must make the most of it. 3 more sessions of spinal chemo left and then we will live from one check up to the next.
I can not begin to thank each and every one of you for your support through this time. I have really learnt the meaning of true friendship. Also for reading this blog and letting me spill out my thoughts and feelings. I am going to continue my blog with general randomness and the continued chaos in my life, I hope you will remain to follow xx