Sunday, 6 November 2011

I have a new blog!

I have decided to embark on a new challenge, running a half marathon!  I wanted to start a new blog to focus solely on my training and the highs and lows whilst keeping this one to record our journey through remission so I hope you will come and join me on my new blog http://halfmarathonmayhem.blogspot.com/2011/11/brief-introduction.html and share the journey with me whilst continuing to read my sporadic posts on here!

Much love to all my lovely readers xxx

Monday, 24 October 2011

Day's of disbelief

For the most part I seem to be getting on with things pretty well.  College is manic, the business is doing well and we have settled down into family life quite well then every so often I get caught out.  Something comes along and reminds me that the last year actually did happen and it wasnt really some kind of strange dream.

Last night I was laying in bed reading "Confessions of a GP".  As books go its ok, a light read i suppose you would call it. Last nights chapter was about the GP's friend who died from Lymphoma and wham, it all comes flooding back.  I was trying to think back to Richie's first few months and all i can remember is hospital visits, leaving him at my mum's, a few times where he came to the hospital and got fussed over by the tea ladies, and they really fussed over him lol!  But thats about it. I dont remember that first smile, the first time he clapped hands, all those little special moments that I wont get back and this does make me sad.

I have spent an hour or so this evening reading back over my blog and it is almost as if it has been written by a stranger.  Perhaps it is my minds way of coping with it all by blocking it all out but in the process my baby boys first year has been blocked out too, and not just him either, I dont seem to have noticed Sofia growing and changing.  She is such a darling little girl (challenging at times i must add lol) and her sense of humour and comedy timing is fantastic.  She is a proper little ray of sunshine in this household.  Her and Richie have developed an incredibly close relationship and are a proper comedy duo in creche.

It is hard to believe that any of this actually happened, hard to comprehend, hard to understand and hard to find meaning to it all.
Rich said to me last night that he wondered what would have happened had the hospital not found it or he had not gone to the Dr's that day, would he be dead now.  I cant even process that thought.
I asked him if he was as scared as I was about it coming back, his reply "Time to sleep now"  his answer says it all.

Saturday, 8 October 2011

Well hello there, how you doing?

It's been a while hasn't it!  I hope all my fellow bloggers and readers are doing just fine.
So what have I been doing with my time since I last posted?  I guess it is time for a catch up!

First and foremost, the reason I blogged, Richard.  It is almost 12 months since he started his chemotherapy.  Can you believe how fast the time has gone because  I cant!  When we first started on this journey through cancer the future seemed far away, a day without cancer being our first thought upon waking seemed far away but all of a sudden it is here!
Richard is doing well.  He is more or less back to normal although he does get more tired than before but I guess that is only to be expected.  He has remained positive throughout and his strength and determination has carried us through the past year.

The second subject of the blog, Richie jnr, my handsome boy!!  He really is a little star, such a happy and easy going little boy who really does have a smile for everyone.  He is gong to be one on Tuesday, the year has flown and I believe that his arrival has made the whole process easier as it gave us all a positive focus.
Here he is a few weeks ago, ready to knock the girls dead on his first day in creche!

Which brings me on to me!  I have made a lot of changes recently, I guess the most major one is a total career change!  Watching Richard go through his treatment and observing the work of the nurses on the ward has inspired me to start the process of training to be a nurse.  The final outcome of this will hopefully be midwifery but in the mean time I want to give something back, perhaps a round about way of saying thank you to the nurses and doctors who helped us through such a difficult time.  I guess the easy way would be to send a card and some flowers but my friends will tell you I never do things the easy way.
So here I am a month into an Access to Health course with a shed load of assignments to do, so much still left to learn but I have fantastic new friends and i predict we will have a ball!  So here we are, a new path to follow, a new journey in life and if you are up for it then i'd love you to come along with me for the ride.  So there we are, a new chapter in the world of Cancer and baby equals chaos :0)

Wednesday, 20 July 2011

Calling all my blog readers!!!

I need your help!

I have been nominated for "Most inspirational fundraiser" for Race for Life this year by some of my lovely friends.  In order to win i need lots of votes.

Why should you vote for me?  Well you dont have to, and lets face it I cant make you lol BUT if you have read my blog and followed my journey through the last 12 months then you will know what a journey it has been and to gain a little bit of recognition for coming though it would mean the world to all of us!

How do you vote?  Just click on http://www.facebook.com/home.p​hp?sk=question&id=101503335162​13689&qa_ref=na&notif_t=questi​on_answer
and select Allison, its as simple as that.  To be nominated has been an honour and to win would just be something very special xxx

Wednesday, 22 June 2011

The most special mum I know!

There are many qualities that make up a great mum, kindness, patience, care, love, understanding, tenderness, dedication and devotion.  The most special mum I know has all these and more.
The most special mum I know loves her daughter "To the moon and back", it's a love that is unconditional and will never tire.

Yesterday the most special mum I know celebrated her daughters first birthday.  There were cards, pressies, flowers, balloons and birthday wishes galore.  

Yesterday the most special mum I know read her daughter the special book that she promised she would read to her every year on her birthday.

You are probably reading this and thinking that you do all these things with your child too so why is this mum so special?  Let me show you a photo of the most special mum I know reading a story to her daughter yesterday on her 1st birthday

Yesterday Caz, the most special mum I know, sat and read her daughter a story.

One year ago, on the 21st of June 2010 Baby Anabelle Morgan was born sleeping.  I think the photo above speaks volumes about how much Belle is loved by not only the most special mum I know, but also her daddy who took the photo, by her family who sent flowers and the many people that never met her but love and care for her mummy and daddy who sent gifts and birthday wishes.

The photo above made me cry, it made me angry, it made me sad but it also warmed my heart and made me proud to be friends with the most special mum I know.

Monday, 20 June 2011

I did it!!

Yesterday was Race for life day.
I wasnt particularly looking forward to the run as it had been raining all week and the track is mainly grass and woodland and from previous experience it can be slippery and very muddy.
We arrived at the course in plenty of time and I met up with a friend and had a bit of a natter.
This is me ready to go!

I got a bit frustrated with the wait.  We were due to start at 11 but people were still arriving so the start time was put off till 11:30.  It is really frustrating when you have made the effort to get there early and other people cant be bothered to get there on time (but thats another blog post!!)
Anyway we finally got the go ahead to start and I joined the jogging group.  We set off and as usual there is a small bit of jogging then everyone bunches up and we have to walk for a bit!  Then we got round the corner, out of sight of the public and the majority of the joggers decided to walk, Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh why join the jogging group is 2 mins later you are going to walk!!  I then had to spend ages weaving in and out of people walking, chatting on their mobile phones *sigh*.
Finally I managed to get up a bit of a rhythm and was enjoying the run when I came to another bottle neck!!  There was a puddle in the gateway and everyone was faffing about trying to find ways through it, in the end i got so fed up I just went straight through the middle of it an carried on.  I was doing really well until I faced my nemesis.... a freshly mowed field.  I suffer really badly with hayfever (great when you live you a farm!) and as I was running around the field I could feel my chest getting tighter and tighter until in the end I had to stop and walk.  From then on I had to do a mixture of running and walking.
As I was running through the last bit of woodland, singing away to myself in my head, I felt a tap on my shoulder so i took my headphones off and turned around.  A lady had been running behind me and had been reading my back plate and said she had to stop me and give me a hug!!!  Bless her!  This made me very emotional, how lovely for someone I had never even met to feel compelled to give me a hug!
My back plate

Coming out of the woodlands meant there was only 500m left until the finish line!  Seeing people lined up along the route cheering and willing you on really helps with the motivation and im pleased to say it was a sprint finish!!!  I finished in 45 mins which is an okish time.  I had hoped to do better but the pollen got the better of me on the day but still, I FINISHED!!!  and I have made a difference to someones life.  How amazing is that!!
Me and Rich at the end :0)
Coming out of the race I felt really humbled to see a lady in a wheelchair being pushed around the course by her husband and I just thought how amazing and how determined they obviously both were to complete the course!

So there we have it!  Its all over and done with and the total so far is £1020 in sponsorship money.  I have been promised more donations so hopefully I can bring you an updated total soon.  So far this year I have raised £2820 for charity, not a bad total for little me!  How nice it would be to get to the £3000 mark.....hmmmmm (light bulb switches on above head!)

Thursday, 16 June 2011

Tesco made me cry!

Its probably not the first time I have cried during a visit to Tesco, usually it is after the cashier presses the total button and the amount comes up on the little screen.  But today was different.

We went with the specific purpose to buy fathers day pressies for Rich.  I have struggled this year with what to get him.  My plan was to get him a second hand Iphone but i guess everyone loves theirs so much they dont want to part with them, I know it would take a brave person to try and separate me from mine!

Anyway Sofia, Richie and I were on a mission.  We chose our gifts (not very exciting compared to an Iphone but hey ho!) and then headed off to the card section, and thats what made me cry.  I stood there trying to decided which card I should get for him from the girls and then it clicked, its not just the girls this year.  He has a son too.  Now thats not a new thing, after all Richie is 8 months old now (Eeeek where did those 8 months go!) but this is the first fathers day since Richie was born.  Its the first time I could get a card that says "From your son Daddy"  Just 4 words, 4 very simple words but enough to make me cry!

Rich is a fantastic dad, he is the best that I could have wished for when I pictured a daddy for my children.  The girls stick with him like glue when he is home, they love to help him in the garden or in the shed and I love watching him read them a story but I knew deep down that he wanted a son.  Someone he could pass on his name to, continue the family tradition, do "boy" things with.  I am proud that I gave him this gift, well, all 3 gifts but to have his son, especially at the time Richie was born, just made things all that more special, almost like a gift from someone who knew!

So buying a card that said "From your son, Daddy" was one of the proudest moments of my life.  So here it is, the small little thing that made me cry
This time last year I picked up the first funny card I found and a few bits and bobs, I never really appreciated the sentiment behind "Fathers day" after all I grew up without a dad so I guess the understanding and appreciation of the father/daughter and father/son relationship isnt really there, but this year I realise the importance of it for our children.  They still have their dad, they have another chance so this fathers day will be a special one for us.

Make sure on sunday you give your dad a tight squeeze and thank whoever you believe in that you have him in your life.  Dads are special!