As we were laid in bed chatting last night I asked him "When will the old Rich come back?" to which he replied "What do you mean?".
I never did get round to answering that question, just kind of avoided the topic but then he asked the same to me, when would the old Ally come back, instead of the one that nags and moans.
This got me thinking about the old "us". The old us had no cares or worries, we would pack up our tent, get in the car and just pick a point on the map and thats where we would holiday. We would sit on the beach watching the sun set and talk about the future. We would talk for hours, laugh at silly things and relish in our freedom. Along came Jade and the dynamics changed a little, suddenly there was someone else to care for, a new priority for us both. We still laughed and headed off on random holidays but things were different, we had both changed a little.
We got used to being a family of 3, time flew by and we grew comfortable in our roles as parents. Almost 7 years later Sofia came along and it was all change again. A new baby becomes priority number 1, the older child priority number 2 then what ever time is left is for us. The washing mounted up, the rooms were untidy, the garden was non existent but we carried on with the new routine.
Then there was a niggle, an urge that wouldnt go away. I wanted another child and I didnt want to wait 7 years this time so along came Richie, but this time things were different, he wasnt my priority, Rich was or rather his cancer was.
Again we changed, we talked less and thought more. There was less laughter, no impromptu holidays and life had a new routine. I had a new routine, new worries and a new role.
So I think really here lies the answer to my question. Times have changed, we have changed, life has changed. We never planned for this, we didnt even imagine that it would ever be like this. I dont think we will ever be the "old" Ally and Rich, but I would like to think we are a "new and improved" version. Time will tell :0)