Monday, 15 November 2010

Forever my Hero, my fiance

I saw this slogan on a website selling Lymphoma awareness merchandise and I thought it was so apt cos that is what he is, my hero!
The 2nd round of chemo seems to have gone so well and im so proud of how well he is coping with it all. His strength and determination is amazing although I feel there is an aspect of sheer stubboness in there too!
Me on the other hand? Im rubbish at all this and I just want to bury my head in the sand and wish it would all go away. It was all going well until it came to the grand revealing of the newly shaved head and then its gone down hill since then, not him you understand, he is still full of humour and his usual self, it's just me. The moment he came out of that bathroom my heart was broken. It broke because I cant fix this, i cant make it better for him, im not in control. It broke because our 3 innocent, beautiful and loving children have to see their daddy like this and see him go through this horrible treatment.
I have never held him as tight as I did last night. I hate that we all have to go through this, I hate that it has to be us :0(
I dont know if I will ever get used to seeing him without his gorgeous thick dark hair but this horrible illness has taken the choice away from me.

1 comment:

  1. Hey Ally,

    I kinda know how you feel, I feel Lymphoma has been in control of me for the last year, but treatment has hopefully ended and I'm in charge again! You will again too :-)