Things have been going well, we have been busy as a family with so much stuff going on that for a second we have forgotten what has happened in the past year. Its easy to do when life gets in the way, kids are busy with activities and you go back to being "normal"
Little things prick your conscience, like a trip to Tesco this week. There was a motorbike for sale in the carpark and as he always does Rich said "oooh look at that bike, bet that would fly" and as always i say "There is no way you are having a bike" Its been a little thing between us for years. This time was different though cos a little (9 year old) voice pipes up from the back of the car saying "Dad you are NOT having a motorbike. I dont want you to have an accident and be ill again, you have only just got better and I dont want you to be ill anymore" The tears started to come but I had to turn away and not let it show, but you could tell it got to Rich too.
Then you hear those words "My shoulder aches again" and suddenly that stomach lurching feeling is back and those memories of chemotherapy and pain and sickness come flooding back. In fairness he has been overdoing things and wont listen when he is told! In the past few weeks he has spent all day helping his brother build and fit out a log cabin, then after tea has been going to our building plot to work on our house, he has been mowing the lawn, building picnic benches etc etc (you get the picture) so the likelihood that his shoulder hurt because he has overdone it is a realistic prospect BUT there is always that what if!
So this weekend he is to rest and if there is still pain on Monday then back to the Dr we go :0( Till then sleep will be a distance memory in this house! I laid in bed last night and just thought back to the last 12 months, and I pray to who ever will listen that we NEVER have to do it again cos i dont think i can.