A very random email!!

I have not blogged here for such a long time.  Life has more or less gone back to "normal" now and Richard is back to full health,
Yesterday I was checking my emails and noticed that someone had made contact with my through my blog, intrigued I opened the email....

Greetings,

My name is Natasha, an Outreach Service Manager of CouponMachine.in. We are
pleased to inform you that you are part of the list of the World's Top 25
Parenting Blogs. We have created this list after a through scrutiny and deep
research and settled with only the best bloggers associated with real
Parenting Blogs, creativity and uniqueness.You can get all the information
at:
http://www.couponmachine.in/blog/most-inspiring-parenting-blogs/. 

Not once for clicking on random links I was apprehensive, after all I had not written anything on this blog since 2011!  However I was pleasantly surprised to find it was genuine and my little blog had indeed made this list!

Here is what the website had to say:

"This family blog brings forth a unique situation and exemplifies the writer’s superior courage in dealing with the adversity. After 16 years of togetherness and three kids, her fiancée is diagnosed with Cancer. This blog brings out the superlative spirit and positivity with which she handles the situation."

I was genuinely blown away so just wanted to say thank you to Coupon machine for recognising my blog but also thank you to everyone who ever read it!

I have a new blog!

I have decided to embark on a new challenge, running a half marathon!  I wanted to start a new blog to focus solely on my training and the highs and lows whilst keeping this one to record our journey through remission so I hope you will come and join me on my new blog http://halfmarathonmayhem.blogspot.com/2011/11/brief-introduction.html and share the journey with me whilst continuing to read my sporadic posts on here!

Much love to all my lovely readers xxx

Day's of disbelief

For the most part I seem to be getting on with things pretty well.  College is manic, the business is doing well and we have settled down into family life quite well then every so often I get caught out.  Something comes along and reminds me that the last year actually did happen and it wasnt really some kind of strange dream.

Last night I was laying in bed reading "Confessions of a GP".  As books go its ok, a light read i suppose you would call it. Last nights chapter was about the GP's friend who died from Lymphoma and wham, it all comes flooding back.  I was trying to think back to Richie's first few months and all i can remember is hospital visits, leaving him at my mum's, a few times where he came to the hospital and got fussed over by the tea ladies, and they really fussed over him lol!  But thats about it. I dont remember that first smile, the first time he clapped hands, all those little special moments that I wont get back and this does make me sad.

I have spent an hour or so this evening reading back over my blog and it is almost as if it has been written by a stranger.  Perhaps it is my minds way of coping with it all by blocking it all out but in the process my baby boys first year has been blocked out too, and not just him either, I dont seem to have noticed Sofia growing and changing.  She is such a darling little girl (challenging at times i must add lol) and her sense of humour and comedy timing is fantastic.  She is a proper little ray of sunshine in this household.  Her and Richie have developed an incredibly close relationship and are a proper comedy duo in creche.

It is hard to believe that any of this actually happened, hard to comprehend, hard to understand and hard to find meaning to it all.

Rich said to me last night that he wondered what would have happened had the hospital not found it or he had not gone to the Dr's that day, would he be dead now.  I cant even process that thought.

I asked him if he was as scared as I was about it coming back, his reply "Time to sleep now"  his answer says it all.

Well hello there, how you doing?

It's been a while hasn't it!  I hope all my fellow bloggers and readers are doing just fine.
So what have I been doing with my time since I last posted?  I guess it is time for a catch up!

First and foremost, the reason I blogged, Richard.  It is almost 12 months since he started his chemotherapy.  Can you believe how fast the time has gone because  I cant!  When we first started on this journey through cancer the future seemed far away, a day without cancer being our first thought upon waking seemed far away but all of a sudden it is here!
Richard is doing well.  He is more or less back to normal although he does get more tired than before but I guess that is only to be expected.  He has remained positive throughout and his strength and determination has carried us through the past year.

The second subject of the blog, Richie jnr, my handsome boy!!  He really is a little star, such a happy and easy going little boy who really does have a smile for everyone.  He is gong to be one on Tuesday, the year has flown and I believe that his arrival has made the whole process easier as it gave us all a positive focus.

Here he is a few weeks ago, ready to knock the girls dead on his first day in creche!

Which brings me on to me!  I have made a lot of changes recently, I guess the most major one is a total career change!  Watching Richard go through his treatment and observing the work of the nurses on the ward has inspired me to start the process of training to be a nurse.  The final outcome of this will hopefully be midwifery but in the mean time I want to give something back, perhaps a round about way of saying thank you to the nurses and doctors who helped us through such a difficult time.  I guess the easy way would be to send a card and some flowers but my friends will tell you I never do things the easy way.
So here I am a month into an Access to Health course with a shed load of assignments to do, so much still left to learn but I have fantastic new friends and i predict we will have a ball!  So here we are, a new path to follow, a new journey in life and if you are up for it then i'd love you to come along with me for the ride.  So there we are, a new chapter in the world of Cancer and baby equals chaos :0)

Calling all my blog readers!!!

I need your help!

I have been nominated for "Most inspirational fundraiser" for Race for Life this year by some of my lovely friends.  In order to win i need lots of votes.

Why should you vote for me?  Well you dont have to, and lets face it I cant make you lol BUT if you have read my blog and followed my journey through the last 12 months then you will know what a journey it has been and to gain a little bit of recognition for coming though it would mean the world to all of us!

How do you vote?  Just click on http://www.facebook.com/home.p​hp?sk=question&id=101503335162​13689&qa_ref=na&notif_t=questi​on_answer
and select Allison, its as simple as that.  To be nominated has been an honour and to win would just be something very special xxx

The most special mum I know!

There are many qualities that make up a great mum, kindness, patience, care, love, understanding, tenderness, dedication and devotion.  The most special mum I know has all these and more.

The most special mum I know loves her daughter "To the moon and back", it's a love that is unconditional and will never tire.

Yesterday the most special mum I know celebrated her daughters first birthday.  There were cards, pressies, flowers, balloons and birthday wishes galore.  

Yesterday the most special mum I know read her daughter the special book that she promised she would read to her every year on her birthday.

You are probably reading this and thinking that you do all these things with your child too so why is this mum so special?  Let me show you a photo of the most special mum I know reading a story to her daughter yesterday on her 1st birthday

Yesterday Caz, the most special mum I know, sat and read her daughter a story.

One year ago, on the 21st of June 2010 Baby Anabelle Morgan was born sleeping.  I think the photo above speaks volumes about how much Belle is loved by not only the most special mum I know, but also her daddy who took the photo, by her family who sent flowers and the many people that never met her but love and care for her mummy and daddy who sent gifts and birthday wishes.

The photo above made me cry, it made me angry, it made me sad but it also warmed my heart and made me proud to be friends with the most special mum I know.

I did it!!

Yesterday was Race for life day.
I wasnt particularly looking forward to the run as it had been raining all week and the track is mainly grass and woodland and from previous experience it can be slippery and very muddy.
We arrived at the course in plenty of time and I met up with a friend and had a bit of a natter.

This is me ready to go!

I got a bit frustrated with the wait.  We were due to start at 11 but people were still arriving so the start time was put off till 11:30.  It is really frustrating when you have made the effort to get there early and other people cant be bothered to get there on time (but thats another blog post!!)
Anyway we finally got the go ahead to start and I joined the jogging group.  We set off and as usual there is a small bit of jogging then everyone bunches up and we have to walk for a bit!  Then we got round the corner, out of sight of the public and the majority of the joggers decided to walk, Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh why join the jogging group is 2 mins later you are going to walk!!  I then had to spend ages weaving in and out of people walking, chatting on their mobile phones *sigh*.
Finally I managed to get up a bit of a rhythm and was enjoying the run when I came to another bottle neck!!  There was a puddle in the gateway and everyone was faffing about trying to find ways through it, in the end i got so fed up I just went straight through the middle of it an carried on.  I was doing really well until I faced my nemesis.... a freshly mowed field.  I suffer really badly with hayfever (great when you live you a farm!) and as I was running around the field I could feel my chest getting tighter and tighter until in the end I had to stop and walk.  From then on I had to do a mixture of running and walking.
As I was running through the last bit of woodland, singing away to myself in my head, I felt a tap on my shoulder so i took my headphones off and turned around.  A lady had been running behind me and had been reading my back plate and said she had to stop me and give me a hug!!!  Bless her!  This made me very emotional, how lovely for someone I had never even met to feel compelled to give me a hug!

My back plate

Coming out of the woodlands meant there was only 500m left until the finish line!  Seeing people lined up along the route cheering and willing you on really helps with the motivation and im pleased to say it was a sprint finish!!!  I finished in 45 mins which is an okish time.  I had hoped to do better but the pollen got the better of me on the day but still, I FINISHED!!!  and I have made a difference to someones life.  How amazing is that!!

Me and Rich at the end :0)

Coming out of the race I felt really humbled to see a lady in a wheelchair being pushed around the course by her husband and I just thought how amazing and how determined they obviously both were to complete the course!

So there we have it!  Its all over and done with and the total so far is £1020 in sponsorship money.  I have been promised more donations so hopefully I can bring you an updated total soon.  So far this year I have raised £2820 for charity, not a bad total for little me!  How nice it would be to get to the £3000 mark.....hmmmmm (light bulb switches on above head!)

Tesco made me cry!

Its probably not the first time I have cried during a visit to Tesco, usually it is after the cashier presses the total button and the amount comes up on the little screen.  But today was different.

We went with the specific purpose to buy fathers day pressies for Rich.  I have struggled this year with what to get him.  My plan was to get him a second hand Iphone but i guess everyone loves theirs so much they dont want to part with them, I know it would take a brave person to try and separate me from mine!

Anyway Sofia, Richie and I were on a mission.  We chose our gifts (not very exciting compared to an Iphone but hey ho!) and then headed off to the card section, and thats what made me cry.  I stood there trying to decided which card I should get for him from the girls and then it clicked, its not just the girls this year.  He has a son too.  Now thats not a new thing, after all Richie is 8 months old now (Eeeek where did those 8 months go!) but this is the first fathers day since Richie was born.  Its the first time I could get a card that says "From your son Daddy"  Just 4 words, 4 very simple words but enough to make me cry!

Rich is a fantastic dad, he is the best that I could have wished for when I pictured a daddy for my children.  The girls stick with him like glue when he is home, they love to help him in the garden or in the shed and I love watching him read them a story but I knew deep down that he wanted a son.  Someone he could pass on his name to, continue the family tradition, do "boy" things with.  I am proud that I gave him this gift, well, all 3 gifts but to have his son, especially at the time Richie was born, just made things all that more special, almost like a gift from someone who knew!

So buying a card that said "From your son, Daddy" was one of the proudest moments of my life.  So here it is, the small little thing that made me cry

This time last year I picked up the first funny card I found and a few bits and bobs, I never really appreciated the sentiment behind "Fathers day" after all I grew up without a dad so I guess the understanding and appreciation of the father/daughter and father/son relationship isnt really there, but this year I realise the importance of it for our children.  They still have their dad, they have another chance so this fathers day will be a special one for us.

Make sure on sunday you give your dad a tight squeeze and thank whoever you believe in that you have him in your life.  Dads are special!

That ole waiting game again!

Yesterday morning we went back to the hospital for a consultant appointment.  Rich is still getting a nagging ache in his shoulder so enough was enough and I called the chemo day unit for an appointment.

Walking back through those yellow doors into the waiting area brought back all those old feelings of waiting for test results, chemotherapy, blood tests and the like.  It's amazing how quickly you forget those feelings and also how quickly they come back when you see an object that triggers it.

So in we walk and Rich is sent to the beds to wait.  The consultant comes to talk to him and it was obvious that Rich was nervous as he just wont stop talking!  He suggested bloods and a scan to check the shoulder area.  Bloods were taken there and then but its now a waiting game for the scan.

I really thought (perhaps naively) that once we had the last scan that we would be free of cancers grip, free to get on with living our life as a family, but it seems that cancer is not yet ready to let go of its grip on our lives!

So here we are....waiting for the scan date...waiting to find out if its back....waiting.....

Tomorrow is the day...

that I have been waiting for since last year.  Its TAKE THAT day!!!!  

I first saw TT in concert during their circus tour and they were AMAZING!!!  It wasnt the first concert I had been to but most certainly the best.  The staging and theatrics were fantastic and I loved it all so when they said they would be going on tour this year I was determined to get tickets come what may!  I knew from trying to get Circus tickets that it wasnt an easy task and wasnt looking forward to spending hours trying to get through to the ticketmaster website or phoneline but was prepared.  Then out of the blue, a few days before hand a friend messaged me on facebook to say that a local coach company were running a trip to the concert and tickets would be on sale through them the day before general release.  9am came on that day and I was on the phone and my tickets booked.

I booked 3, 1 for me, 1 for my friend Anna and one for my 9 year old.  I didnt mention anything to her about the tickets until her birthday this february when I put a message in her birthday card to say that in June she would be going to see TT in concert.  She was thrilled to bits!!!

I try and give her as many opportunities and experiences as I possibly can.  We didnt have chances like this when I was her age and would have given anything to go and see my fave bands in concert so I am only too happy to give her these opportunities!

So tomorrow is the day!  My TT t'shirt is in the washing machine at the moment and I have the challenge of finding hers somewhere in the pit she calls her bedroom.  Im not sure ill manage it by tomorrow and sitting her blogging isnt going to help.

We are all very excited! Anna is under strict instructions NOT to be late for the bus tomorrow which will be a first for her :0)

One more sleep and TT here we come.  Hope you are ready for me Robbie, this has been a long time coming hehehe! 

The race is on...

well ish!

So this time next week will be the eve of my race for life!  I am looking forward to it so much and this week I will be preparing my back plate.  I need to think hard about what I am going to say on it, there is so many words I could say but it needs to be to the point and also show my love and pride in Richard and what he has come through.
I have chosen the photo I want to use.

 I had contemplated using the picture of us as a family taken by the local paper

but decided against it as the focus in my mind on the day will be him and I will be proud to carry his photo on my back.
Funnily enough it is also fathers day the day of my race which i find really symbolic.  Rich is a brilliant dad and the kids love him to bits so running for their dad will keep me going!

The down side to all this at the moment it my left foot.  I have tried to run twice this month and both times my left foot and ankle have been agony.  I have been to see the chiropractor to try and get it sorted out and she did help and I was pain free for a week but as soon as i tried to run on it again, my ankle gave way and its really painful again.  So what to do?   Well one thing I will do is finish the race, that I know.  In what state I will finish it is a different matter.  I have trained long and hard for this and there is no way ill pull out now.  I have decided to join the running crowd and see what happens.

I am looking forward to it very much, the atmosphere on the day is always electric and its so emotional reading everyones stories as you go round the course. Sometimes I wish there was more I could do, and this I will give some serious thought to in the coming months, but for now I will run(?) with pride, love and humility for the man who I love beyond words, for the strength, courage and determination he has shown and for the future, our future as a family.

(Ill also being having a last minute push for sponsorships so if  you have a £1 or 2 to spare, please pop along to my page www.raceforlifesponsorme.org/allyrunsforrich)

Wish me luck!!

A minor (!) blip?

Things have been going well, we have been busy as a family with so much stuff going on that for a second we have forgotten what has happened in the past year.  Its easy to do when life gets in the way, kids are busy with activities and you go back to being "normal"

Little things prick your conscience, like a trip to Tesco this week.  There was a motorbike for sale in the carpark and as he always does Rich said "oooh look at that bike, bet that would fly" and as always i say "There is no way you are having a bike"  Its been a little thing between us for years.  This time was different though cos a little (9 year old) voice pipes up from the back of the car saying "Dad you are NOT having a motorbike.  I dont want you to have an accident and be ill again, you have only just got better and I dont want you to be ill anymore"  The tears started to come but I had to turn away and not let it show, but you could tell it got to Rich too.

Then you hear those words "My shoulder aches again" and suddenly that stomach lurching feeling is back and those memories of chemotherapy and pain and sickness come flooding back.  In fairness he has been overdoing things and wont listen when he is told!  In the past few weeks he has spent all day helping his brother build and fit out a log cabin, then after tea has been going to our building plot to work on our house, he has been mowing the lawn, building picnic benches etc etc (you get the picture) so the likelihood that his shoulder hurt because he has overdone it is a realistic prospect BUT there is always that what if!

So this weekend he is to rest and if there is still pain on Monday then back to the Dr we go :0(  Till then sleep will be a distance memory in this house!  I laid in bed last night and just thought back to the last 12 months, and I pray to who ever will listen that we NEVER have to do it again cos i dont think i can.

It's all go!

Well to say its busy is probably an understatement but that can only be a good thing right?  Quiet times mean time to think and that is never a good thing!

The business is up and running and events are coming in thick and fast.  Lets hope people like my stuff and make a few little purchases so that I can buy some more stock and make more pretty things!!
I have a few new products up my sleeve which I am really looking forward to revealing in the next few months.

I shall also be starting a business blog as well, lets hope i manage to keep that updated as often as this one!

So what is todays blog about?  Well its a shameless business plug!  Cos lets face it you cant get enough exposure can you?

Why not take a look at my website and come back and give me some feedback?
www.with-love-from-me.co.uk

I also want to take a moment to thank my wonderful friends who have supported me from day one and my amazing man who had endured night after night of going to bed alone while i have been sat typing, making, swearing and a whole load of other things!!

So, look out for With love from me THE BLOG!  Coming soon to a screen near you!

It was broken, so im fixing it!

Life that is, or rather me.
My blogging has been sporadic of late, as has everything else in life.
Its a rather long, boring and tiresome story so I wont bore you with the ins and outs but ill provide the basics.

So ill rewind a bit, back to the fantastic day where Rich finished his treatment and we said goodbye to the hospital, only it wasnt a fantastic day, it was a sad day, a scary day because we are now alone!  I dont mean alone in the sense of being the last 2 people on earth, although sometimes it feels that way.  I mean alone as in suddenly there is no one responsible for his care, its just us.  We dont have the security blanket around us anymore and thats scary.  The what ifs are still there, what if it comes back, what if we dont know its there again, what if they forget about him?  Ok the last one maybe a bit extreme but it feels like that as there are no more appointments, no more treatment.  Its just all gone!

So everyone kept saying to me how relieved I must be and I put on the happy face and say yes but inside im saying no im not, im scared.
I felt that I should be relieved, people kept saying how strong I was but I wasnt but felt I should, people kept saying I should be this and should be that and I wasnt and I felt like I was a failure.  I wasnt meeting other peoples expectations of me, but more importantly I wasnt meeting my own and I found that hard to deal with.  This feeling of failure was building and building and building and with the GP withdrawal of my meds it finally came to a head.  I cant quite describe what happened as I dont know, i just kind of imploded.  I decided that the best way to stop letting other people down was just to cut myself off from everyone and everything, friends, family, even my own children.  I just didnt want to function.
I went to a very dark place, somewhere I never want to visit again, it cost me friendships although some will say if your friends cant be there for you when you are at your lowest point then they are not friends but on the flip side, if you cut yourself off and dont allow people in then how can they help?
I felt that I was at a point of no return but thanks to some very very special people, some of who sat up talking to me online till 3am in the morning listening to me rambling the most inane things that made no sense to me never mind them!
But with their love and encouragement I got help, I got my meds reinstated and the cloud has started to lift again.  I have spoken to a counseller who is helping me to put things into the place they should be and not the jumble mix of mess that was in my head.
Im far from fixed, its going to be a long process and I accept that now, I accept that I have to be me, not who people expect me to be.
To help with this I decided I needed a focus, that is what spurred me on to start my business.  It is a scary prospect, I stand to lose a lot if it fails BUT its up to me to make sure that does not happen.  Its something that I can be in control of and I guess that is what I need at the moment.  I lost control of so many things in my life that I needed to regain something back.

I still have a list of things I need to do, I need to regain control of my eating which spiraled, I need to regain my enthusiasm for running and training for my race and I need to regain some normality back in my life.  Im taking steps to do this, baby steps, one thing at a time.
Its been almost 2 weeks now since I fell and I am thankful for the people that picked me up and dusted me off.  I wont forget that, ever.

So there we have it, me laid bare (ish) Its been a tough blog post to write but therapeutic at the same time!  So back to blogging, but with Ally v.2 :0)

Positives and negatives

Wow its been a long time since I blogged and im quite ashamed to say I didnt finish the A to Z blogging challenge, I have no other excuse then the fact life got in the way, the baby and I have been really poorley with a horrid D&V bug which almost saw him admitted to hospital with dehydration.
I was going to post about what had happened since I blogged last and realised that it sounded mainly negative so I decided that for every negative I posted I would also post a positive because there are always positives to be found out there somewhere.
So lets start with the negatives and get them out of the way!

Firstly I lost my Aunty last week.  I have amazingly fond memories of her from when I was a child.  Her and her husband lived in Poole at the time and would come and visit regularly.  I would always beg them to take me out with them for the day as Mum didnt drive and Dad died when I was 7 so unless it was in walking distance we never really went far.
Everytime they came to stay they would always bring me a pack of gingernuts.  Random I know but as a small child you look forward to these things!
About 10 years ago they moved down to Pembrokeshire and bought a bungalow that Richard and I had renovated (our first project in property) It was lovely to have them so close and also to think that they were living in something that we had created.
Sadly not long after moving down she suffered a stroke which had a significant effect on her daily life.  I found it quite sad to see how a vibrant outgoing lady had turned into someone who couldn't walk far, take care of herself and had mentally changed.
She died from a massive heart attack but was on life support until they made the decision to switch the machines off and as they were doing all the work it was simply a case of letting her finally go to sleep in peace.

A few days later our lovely farm dog Jess passed away.  Jess was about 15 years old (give or take a year) which is about 70 something in dog years so she was quite an old lady!  She was a lovely intelligent dog who would give you her left or right paw depending on which one you asked for and was very loyal and obedient. When I was pregnant with Jade she would come and lay on my feet, it was then I noticed she had a swollen tummy which later turned into 11 puppies!!!  She gave birth on the August bank holiday in 2001.  I remember this well as it was a few months before I had Jade.
We kept 2 of the dogs on the farm and they were named Ralph and Toby.

This is Jess (left) with her 2 sons Toby (middle) and Ralph (right)
She was beautiful and elegant and I will miss her loads x

I was really gutted to hear the news that the beautiful mum of a friend of mine had been diagnosed with breast cancer.  I always feel that stomach sinking feeling when I hear about someone being diagnosed now that I know what the journey entails.  I do have every faith in the medication and treatment available and am keeping my fingers crossed that it will be as successful for her as it was for Richard.  She is also writing a blog about her journey so why not check it out here and tell her I sent you!

Well, along with the negatives I promised you positives and here they are!
You remember my lovely friend Caz from After Anabelle?  Well after giving birth to a sleeping angel on my birthday last year, Caz is now expecting her 2nd child, a little brother or sister for Anabelle.  It is bittersweet news though as I know Caz will not be able to relax and enjoy her pregnancy this time round like she did with Anabelle as there will always be that fear in the back of her mind and I know she is having an anxious time of things so I ask you all if you pray (aint fussy as to who) then please send a prayer for Caz, Jon and Baby Bow.

This week I have finally launched my Business!!!!  Wow what a lot of things you have to take into consideration when setting up a small business, im still learning about things I need to do such as getting insurance (thank you nellie dean for your help and advice) registering with that lovely tax man etc etc.  Lots of forms to fill in, lots of money being spent out and a hope that things will work out!
So why not come and take a look at my website here where you will find a link to my Folksy shop on the "shop" page.
As well as making new beaded and fingerprint jewellery (coming soon) I am going to be recycling old beaded jewellery to make new designs.  50% of the money from the sale of the recycled Jewellery will be donated to a local charity Adams bucket full of hope who are raising money for a new chemotherapy day unit at our local hospital, a cause which is now very close to my heart!
I have already made one sale from my folksy shop was is fab considering I only set it up last night!  Fingers crossed its a sign of good things to come!

So there we have it!  Some positives and negatives about the past week or so.  If you take a look at my website then I would love to hear your comments about the site and the stock!

Hopefully normal blogging service shall now be resumed, in the mean time a HUGE thank you to those of you who have visited and commented on my blog, you make me smile xx

Sleep

S is for sleep, something that used to be a good friend of mine but we have fallen out in recent times!

I used to love 11pm because that was our bed time, we would snuggle up in bed together and fall asleep cuddled up.  It was my fave time of day!

Then came the night sweats, I couldnt go anywhere near him at night time because he was soaked in sweat,  This is when I first started to worry about him and what prompted me to nag him to go to the doctor.  Since then night times have never been the same.

When I first moved in with him it took me ages to get used to sleeping in the same bed as someone else but then it got to the point where I couldnt sleep without him in bed.  His arms around me made me feel safe and I could fall asleep with ease.

I have now got used to not sleeping because we are not cuddled up so that is why I am sat here at 01:17am typing this instead of being in bed snuggling up!
Just another sign of how life has changed for us :o(

Reflections on motherhood

One of my lovely friends posted a link to this video last night and I thought it was perfect for todays post!  Its called Reflections on Motherhood.  The film makers asked mothers what one thing they would say to themselves if they could go back in time before they had their baby.  Have a look...

Did you cry?? I did lol!

So it got me thinking, what would I say to myself if i went back in time?  

I would say.....

Motherhood is not as good as you imagine, its a million times better!!

So what would yours be?

Questions

Q is for questions, as there are still so many unanswered!

1) Why did Richard get cancer?
2) Why did it have to happen when it did?
3) How do we know it wont come back?
4) How will it effect the future?
5) Will we ever be a normal family again?

These are questions that realistically no one can answer but they are the ones that I am desperate to know the answer to!

Rich finished his course of chemo today (cant tell you how happy it makes me feel to be able to write that)but the relief is engulfed by the "what now's"

So 6 months into this nightmare I am still left with the same questions I had right at the start.

Photography - Capture a moment!

P is for Photography, a passion of mine!

My father in law to be bought us a DSLR 2 years ago and I have turned into a bit of a photography geek!  I love taking photos that capture a moment!  That moment could be my children sharing their toys, a calf being born on the farm of Rich doing the dishes (that is a rare thing in our house!!)

So I was wondering who fancied joining me in a bit of a challenge?  Each week on a Tuesday I am going to post a photo from the previous 7 days where I have captured a moment.  I will explain about the photo and why I have picked it and hopefully it will encourage me to pick up my camera a bit more often than I do at the moment!! So who is up for it????

Here is my photo

I took this photo in my garden one morning this week.  We had moved the calves from a little paddock into the big field for the first time and the next morning when I got up and opened the curtains I found them all in my garden!!!  Its the joys of living on a farm :0)

I look forward to seeing the moments you have captured every week!!



Oh and while you capture a moment, why not capture my badge too?

<a href="http://cancerandbabyequalschaos.blogspot.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i187.photobucket.com/albums/x24/ilovebaalambs/Captureamoment.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>

Ooops

O is for oooops! Been so busy working on the new business that i forgot to blog!!! My apologies and normal service will be resumed tomorrow!!!!